Believe them the FIRST time!

      

I learnt to do this the hard way. I didn't pay attention to the signs that were shown to me from the very beginning. You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about. My ex, who didn't treat me well. You see I should’ve known that when a guy doesn't call as often as you call him or barely takes you out to lush restaurants, bars or on dates in general, it’s probably not going anywhere regardless of what he says. His actions or rather lack of them, are probably never going to change.

Don’t get me wrong, yes, some people do change, but how long will it take for that change to come around? I realised that he had already shown me his true colours from the start, however, the question is why was I shocked when he revealed himself year in year out? When would I start believing his character and realise the relationship was rubbish and he was taking me for a ride?

Listen ladies, I've learned that you can’t change a man (or anyone for that matter) and we shouldn't want to change them either. Accept the person for who they are or GET OUT!!! – no seriously run a mile, don’t waste precious time!

This revelation came to me when I first watched Dr. Maya Angelou’s interview where she was advising Oprah that ‘When someone shows you who they are believe them, the first time’ … “when a person says to you I’m selfish, I’m mean, or unkind, believe them! They know themselves much better than you do”.

Oprah then went on to tell Dr. Angelou about how she was being let down by the man she was dating. Oprah said Dr. Angelou didn’t understand her frustration. Dr Angelou’s reply was, ‘Why are you blaming the other person? He showed you who he was.'"

That’s when it clicked, that’s when I realised WOW, this guy has shown me all along that he wasn’t serious, honest or kind and that he doesn’t know how to treat a young intelligent beautiful woman. To be honest he wasn’t as interested in me as I was in him and he made that clear.

It was clear through his actions, he showed me who he was and unlike the blind I deliberately shut my eyes and continued to walk behind him with no vision of my future.

However I have opened my eyes and learnt to love myself first… Once you love yourself, you won’t accept anything less than you deserve.

Here’s the video I watched the Oprah and Maya interview: Oprah’s life lessons from Maya Angelou: ‘When people show you who they are believe them’ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/14/oprah-life-lesson-maya-angelou_n_2869235.html

xo